Death in Education

    Every person in the world has experienced death, right? Even babies, they just don't remember them. They don't remember loosing someone until maybe preschool age, but the feelings, the hurt and confusion, they don't remember until they are a little older and can truly put into perspective what is happening, that they won't see that friend or family member, or family pet again depending if they are raised with religious beliefs or not and believe in the afterlife or the eternal life. I believe in the eternal life with Jesus after this life. I believe that I will see those that I love that have gone before me, there when I get there, at least I pray and hope that I get there by living as Jesus commands me to through his word.

    I say all of that to say this: death sucks. I have now been in education, starting off as a part time building aid to now, being an ISS / STAAR room Supervisor. Can't say teacher because I'm not certified yet, but I believe all people can be teachers from the time they learn how to tell another person that they are doing something wrong and show them how to do it the right way. Some call this being a bossy pants when we are children and others say it's children helping each other. I say, it can be both, lol. In my years of education, I have met some amazing students and staff alike. Some personalities are harder than others, making some people hard to have a relationship with than others but none the less, you love them. Even when they get on your last nerves, you love them and you form bond. Of course the bond is always stronger with the ones you are closer with, but it doesn't make loosing someone, any less meaningful in my eyes. Everyone is inclined to disagree with that and I'm sure a lot of people will and that's ok, to each their own.

    In this 5 and a half years in education, I have now lost too many coworkers that I have worked with and three students, the third student as of Wednesday, June 24, 2020. I know that loss will come no matter what and sometimes there will be a season that is nothing but death. That season for me was 2 years ago when I would lose someone, then the following week it would their funeral, then a little time would pass then it was someone else, their funeral, a little time, etc. for 6 months. It felt like a never ending cycle of death and funerals, the last one being my nephew that lived with my mom and grew up with me and my siblings as if he were my brother. It was coworker, student, friend I went to high school with, family member, family member and so forth. Nowhere in the instruction manuals or the education classes that I have received thus far, does it tell you how to help pick each other up or your students and keep pushing through. There's a lot that tells us to let the counselors speak to the students or the principals, but as the classroom teachers, how do we help the counselors help our students. If everyone went to the counselors, we wouldn't be teaching because grieving is a long process. How do we help each other, especially when you get a text or email over the summer that a student has passed? This all just hurts and all you want to do is cry, but over the years I have learned and shown so much support through texts, phone calls, emails, and people dropping off food, or dropping by to just give hugs, coffee, or a book. I love to read. I love to read a lot like my student that recently passed. I call them all my students because I was part of either the 2 people that were in the classroom, first person being the head classroom teacher or I have been part of a trio of teachers to help teach the students. We all helped each other learn. 

    I honestly, don't even know what message I'm trying to get across, I just wanted to write and I'v been hurting a lot from the events of the world and then to throw this one more hurt in there, a student passes. I just wanted to get some of my feelings out. I too know that my student that recently passed was a blogger as well as many other things, so I figured, I'd blog my feelings out too. She was truly blessing and I'm honored to have gotten to know her. I miss her a lot, I missed her before hand when I was moved to a new school. I thought I would get the chance to see her and the rest of them in her class graduate in a couple years together. I was going back and forth about writing this blog because I don't want to take away from her and make it about me, but I'm hurting because she's gone. 

    Well now that all my jumbled feeling are out there and my message is unclear, lol, I will get back to my homework. I want to leave on this final note, educators check on each other and ask your fellow coworkers how you can help them, even if it's just to listen to them cry, words of condolences, or hugs, it all helps so that we can move together as a team and help our students because sometimes all they need is a hug as well.